Mick Hartley

From an article at Women Living under Muslim Laws, on the burden of expectation for a woman to be a virgin on her wedding day – while her husband, on the contrary, will be expected not to be. We're in Kyrgyzstan:

Zuhra M., age 25, is a beautiful woman with a great smile. Talking over this delicate issue she cannot meet my eyes and has a guilty look despite the fact there is nothing she should be ashamed of. Zuhra got married when she was 18, but her marriage lasted only for two days. “Uzbeks have their first night a day after the wedding. All day my husband was with his friends and I was at home at yuzochty [a ceremony after which the bride can unveil her face]. In the evening my husband and I went to our bedroom. Around ten women were sitting in a room next to our bedroom. Since my husband was too drunk he could not do anything. After one hour or so a woman started to knock at our door demanding the sheet. He opened and said to everyone that I am not a virgin. The next moment they kicked me out of the house and my parents came to pick me up,” says Zuhra sadly.

As wedding nights go, that's some story. Not quite of the we-can-laugh-about-it-now kind though.

Then there's this:

One of the most respected gynecologists in Osh, Kyrgyzstan, Anara Jumakulova is a slight woman with green eyes. Despite her age she has a liberal view on the “first night sheet” tradition. “I have restored hundreds of hymens. Maybe it is unethical or even sinful but I think that doing so preserves all those girls from discrimination and disgrace. Before the wedding women bring their future daughter-in-laws and ask [me] to prove their virginity and that the hymen was not restored. Sometimes I lie,” Anara tells me frankly. “For example a month ago I had a girl who was raped during the war [inter-ethnic clashes of June 2010]. She had a restored hymen and was afraid that I would tell the truth to her future in-laws. But I could not add on more sufferings to this poor girl.”

And then of course there's bride kidnapping…