Mick Hartley

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The Ethics of Poisoning

From today’s Standard:

A scientist who tried to poison his wife and cover his tracks by spiking products in a local supermarket is lecturing students on ethics, it emerged today.

Paul Agutter – also known as the Safeway poisoner – has been employed on a part-time basis by the University of Manchester.

The 57-year-old, from Athelstaneford, East Lothian, was released from jail in 2002, after serving seven years of a 12-year sentence for attempted murder.

He spiked his wife’s gin and tonic drinks with doses of atropine and tried to cover his tracks by placing bottles of tonic injected with the poison on supermarket shelves. […]

A spokesman for the University of Manchester confirmed Agutter was employed on a part-time basis.

“He was contracted to teach philosophy and medical ethics two hours a week at night classes a couple of months ago.

“All we can say in relation to his appointment is that he applied for the job, we took up his references and he was appointed to the post after due process.”

The obvious choice really, with Harold Shipman no longer available.

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One response to “The Ethics of Poisoning”

  1. Alexander Crawford Avatar
    Alexander Crawford

    It’s important to consider the administrators position before one rushes to judgement. The fact is there’s just not that many Nihilists available in the UK anymore.
    In addition, the applicant has secondary qualifications the institution has found useful. He has seven years experience in a Nationally recognized facility that specializes in ethical reflection, where he demonstrated a high degree of tolerance for residents from across a broad socio-economic spectrum, including but not limited to several Manchester U alumni. He’s amply demonstrated a core competency with pharmacology and a willingness to experiment with dual use applications in the very teeth of outdated ethical modes our students find stifling. He speaks the “kids” language, and several doctoral candidates in our economics and sociology programs have vocally expressed support for the candidates strong anti-Iraqi war political views and anti-establishment credentials. And he’ll work for student fees.
    And before leveling a charge of misogynistic psychosis on either the applicant or administrators, it should be made perfectly clear that he’s 100% cured of doing anything of that nature outside of National jurisdictions where said behavior is well within the bounds of common law. We’re satisfied that he is sincere in pledging never to use that compound to unsuccessfully poison his wife in the future, and that he is eager to teach his charges valuable lessons in the appropriate manner not to poison ones domestic partner or spouse.
    In sum, the administrators at Manchester Uni are proud to have the applicant as a member of our team, and believe we’re acting in perfect accordance with our institutional goals to give our students an educational experience not even Oxbridge could match. Thank you.

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