Mick Hartley

The last time we heard from Jeremy Corbyn and his views on music, he was voicing his strongly-held opposition to the elitism whereby only people who like Mahler could appreciate Mahler. Something like that. Now he's appeared at a press conference with naff Eighties pop-reggae band UB40. Michael Deacon – Jeremy Corbyn held a press conference with UB40 and I have no idea what’s going on any more:

I went along, if only to prove to myself that it was really happening. Remarkably, it was. There, sitting beneath a large sign that read “UB4Corbyn”, were the Labour leader and five members of UB40. (There used to be others, but they left to form a separate band some years ago after an acrimonious split. I believe this is what is known in literary circles as “a metaphor”.)

“Thank you to UB40 for this incredible endorsement,” began Mr Corbyn, in all seriousness. The men from UB40 nodded graciously.

While journalists looked at each other, and then at UB40, and then at each other again, Mr Corbyn embarked on a short but circuitous paean to the importance of music, in which he pledged to create “a space for all of us to be included in cultural values”, and spoke about the pleasure an acquaintance had recently derived from witnessing a performance by a Romanian folk ensemble (“Surely that’s a good thing”).

“Let’s learn from the great music that’s been made,” he concluded, “by bands like UB40.” He sat down.

In theory, Mr Corbyn was now due to answer questions. Instead he seemed more interested in asking them. He was practically hosting his own edition of Later with Jools Holland. “Do you,” he said, turning to the nearest member of UB40, “like classical music?”

“Occasionally,” said the man from UB40.

The man added something about Birmingham being a cultural melting pot. “That was before they got rid of the motorways,” murmured Mr Corbyn, mysteriously.

The Labour leader also asked UB40 about life on the road, why they thought this country was so artistically creative, and how they went about writing music. “To be honest,” replied the man who occasionally liked classical, “we do everything arse-backwards.” Mr Corbyn nodded thoughtfully….

Tomorrow: Owen Smith secures the backing of Kajagoogoo.