Mick Hartley

There seems to be some controversy over whether the Dear Leader really did die on a train, as announced by the state media:

According to the official account, Kim Jong-il died at 8:30 on Saturday morning from a heart attack on a running train, but North Korea experts here say there are several aspects of the story that do not add up. Some believe the North Korean regime for obscure reasons gave a false time and place…

A military officer here said the temperature in Pyongyang the morning Kim died was -12 degrees Celsius. Cold weather is bad for patients with a weak heart, so Kim's doctors would have discouraged him from going outdoors.

Moreover, Kim is famous for his nocturnal lifestyle and normally gets up around noon. Therefore it seems unlikely he was on a train that freezing morning. National Intelligence Service Director Won Sei-hoon told the National Assembly on Tuesday there were no signs that Kim's special armored train ever moved out of the station over the weekend…

One senior South Korean official said, "Death on the train is possibly the best story that the North Korean regime can use to promote Kim as a hardworking leader who worked for the people until the moment he died. North Koreans would feel there's a huge difference between an easy and peaceful death in his bed and death at work far from home." 

A North Korean defector said, "Unlike when Kim Il-sung died, North Koreans have virtually no respect for Kim Jong-il. The regime must have felt the need to make his death look better and find a way to glorify him." 

My theory: he was crushed to death under an avalanche of toilet rolls.