Mick Hartley

Well you've got to make the effort, haven't you? Hartley Towers is festooned in bunting, and everyone has the day off. I can already hear the sounds of celebration from the servants' quarters. Oh dear – I imagine it'll be cold leftovers from the fridge for us tonight! – unless Mrs Danby can be persuaded to heat something up in the micro-oven thingy, that is.

Not that one minds, of course. It's been an especially difficult year for the staff, what with the sad decision – only reached after much soul-searching – that we had to reduce their wages by 20%. With the recession, something just had to give. We all have to tighten our belts, don't we? Such a shame. Which is why one is only too happy to give them the opportunity to let their hair down. As long as it's just for the one day.

What music to select for this happy occasion? A reminder, perhaps, from Mr. Jerry Reed, that, as I found out to my cost with my first wife the Hon. Letitia Hartley, née Whistleton-Smythe, (sadly no longer with us after that unfortunate skiing accident in Klosters), mistakes can be made, and can prove expensive:

[On Bob Dylan's Theme Time Radio Hour, Weddings featured early on, in episode 8 – see the list of songs here - followed the next week with episode 9, Divorce. Since, as we know, the devil has all the best tunes, the Divorce songs are generally the better bunch. Though a special mention should go to Lloyd Price for his title, Where were you (on our wedding day)? And, of course, any excuse to hear Etta James.]