Mick Hartley

Omar Bakri threatens Paul McCartney:

The celebrated rock star plans to arrive in Israel as part of a world tour, and give a single concert at Tel Aviv's Park Hayarkon on September 25.

Omar Bakri, an Islamic preacher, said McCartney's decision to perform as part of Israel's 60th anniversary celebrations made him the enemy of Muslims worldwide.

"If he values his life, Mr. McCartney must not come to Israel," Bakri was quoted as saying. "He will not be safe there. The sacrifice operatives will be waiting for him."

Sacrifice operatives? Well, it's so much classier than suicide bombers. You can imagine the Amalgamated Union of Sacrifice Operatives. "72 virgins is, frankly, an insult to our members in this day and age. Naturally a cessation of sacrifice operations will only happen as a last resort, but if our entirely reasonable demand for 100 virgins isn't met, then we may sadly have no alternative…."

It's good to know that Bakri's time in Britain wasn't completely wasted.