Mick Hartley

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Council Tenants Don’t Jump

Why do so many council estates have basketball courts? I can think of four within a mile or so of where I live. I’m sure it’s not just an Islington thing either. Haringey certainly has its share – and the same goes for Hackney, I think, though I haven’t actually gone out and conducted a survey. They’re all fenced in, with painted lines and hoops at either end. Some even have floodlights, like the one on the Andover estate off Seven Sisters Road.

The problem is, no one ever uses them. I think I may once, in a fading memory, have seen some youths idly lobbing a ball through a hoop, but in general, as far as providing facilities goes, they might just as well have stuck up the high fence all around and not bothered with a way in. They could’ve saved themselves the hinge money.

The reason for their lack of use isn’t too hard to work out. Displaying the innate good sense characteristic of the people of these islands, council tenants don’t in fact play basketball. It’s an American game (and even there, as far as I can tell, it’s limited in the main to those over seven feet tall).

So why all these basketball courts?

What I think’s happened is that our councillors, naturally unwilling to actually go and find out for themselves how British council estate tenants like to live, derive much of their notion of urban living from films. And what more compelling vision of vibrant street life is there than young dudes in the Bronx or Brooklyn leaping around in front of a hoop giving each other high fives and shouting, “Yo, my man”? Like in “White Men Can’t Jump“. Most of these dudes are black – which is fine, because a lot of the problem youths living in London council estates are black. Well then – it’s obviously what they like doing, these black youths. Build them a basketball court and, the thinking goes, pretty damn soon they’ll stop mugging and selling crack, and they’ll be leaping around slotting balls into baskets and giving each other high fives just like in New York.

Ah, the joys of social engineering…

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10 responses to “Council Tenants Don’t Jump”

  1. dearieme Avatar
    dearieme

    “What I think’s happened is that our councillors…. derive much of their notion of urban living from films.” Over the years I have noticed that many of our telly scriptwriters do the same. They often put American expressions – especially, for some reason, the names of tools – on the lips of British proles. Thus an ordinary spanner becomes a “wrench”, a pneumatic drill a “jackhammer” and so on. I could understand the motivation if the show were made with hopes of American sales – I heard the preposterous compromise “flash torch” the other night – but the incongruities occurs in shows that haven’t a hope in hell of American sales and is much more likely to be evidence that Lefty scriptwriters know bugger all about the life of working men. Oh, another favourite piece of evidence of ignorance – referring to colliery spoil tips as “slag heaps”. Bah.

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  2. Mick H Avatar
    Mick H

    Well maybe, but I’ve always called them “slag heaps”. Who on earth uses the expression “colliery spoil tips”?

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  3. Ben Avatar
    Ben

    Yes, we’ve plenty enough in Hackney. Though I must add that I was further north in Turnpike Lane the other week and actually saw a game being played in the nearby park. Most of the participants were at least 6′ 5″, which made me wonder whether the social engineering is actually a desire for basketball to cancel out the diminishing effects of undernourishment.

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  4. JEff Avatar
    JEff

    That’s a Lahndon thing. Not many basketball courts in Newcastle.

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  5. Mikeovswinton Avatar
    Mikeovswinton

    Dearieme; I grew up in a mining village in Lancashire and we called the thing you call a colliery spoil tip a slag heap. Going up the slag heap was a real treat, I recall. It had a little shack at the top. Maybe my memory is playing tricks on me here. It was bulldozed for a motorway decades ago, and the mine is long gone. Anyway, I’m getting a Ouija board to summon up the spirits of the miners I knew when I was a lad so that I can let themn know that they are namby pamby middle calls types for calling it a slag heap.

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  6. dearieme Avatar
    dearieme

    A slag heap consists of slag. It is a symptom of having had a steel-making industry. Other usage is just a sign of not knowing how a country makes, or made, its living.

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  7. marc w. Avatar
    marc w.

    Hmm…
    “Build them a basketball court and, the thinking goes, pretty damn soon they’ll stop mugging and selling crack, and they’ll be leaping around slotting balls into baskets and giving each other high fives just like in New York.
    Ah, the joys of social engineering…”
    Perhaps. But more likely it’s a combination of 1) basketball’s growing popularity in the UK and 2) requirements for amenities and/or recreation/’wellness’ features in council estates.
    As for 1), there certainly seem to be more british kids coming to US colleges on basketball scholarships, and you’ve managed to have a semi-pro league for years now (unlike the US and women’s soccer, which is played by nearly every American girl). SOMEONE’s going to those games.
    As for 2), throwing a hoop on a concrete wall is the cheapest ‘amenity’ possible. If people don’t use it, no problem – you’ve either complied with the law or added value out of the kindness of your heart.
    I think these are more likely than the idea that british social engineers learn about the british poor by watching US basketball movies (WMCJ was set in LA, by the way, which would make it singularly unhelpful for the design of London/NYC/Chicago housing/council estates).

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  8. DaninVan Avatar
    DaninVan

    dearieme is correct; having worked in a smelter in my youth I can assure you that what you’re calling “slag” isn’t. The waste from a mining operation is referred to as ‘tailings’. The residue from smelting, “slag”, is a vitreous byproduct. It’s been through the same melting process as the desired metal product. Slag is somewhat like lava, and has economic value.
    http://www.sysco.ns.ca/slag/slagdivision.htm

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  9. DaninVan Avatar
    DaninVan

    Basketball courts (outdoors) are cheap to install and are virtually maintenance free, hence the attraction for the councils and architects. You put in a pool, and prepare to declare bankruptcy.
    Tennis courts make way more sense than basketball…and we old farts get to sit around and watch young nymphs get all sweaty! 😉

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  10. TDK Avatar
    TDK

    I also can confirm dearieme. I once worked as a subcontractor to the Rotherham based “Slag Reduction Co.” Although they sound like a bunch of spoilsports they were actually connected to the production of steel in Avesta, promising to deliver what was “on the lid”.
    They are mentioned here: http://www.contrafedpublishing.co.nz/Projects/Turning+muck+into+brass.html
    http://www.rocktec.co.nz/links/rocktec_1_10.php

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