The results of the 2011 Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest, for bad opening sentences to imaginary novels.
Winner: Fantasy
Within the smoking ruins of Keister Castle, Princess Gwendolyn stared in horror at the limp form of the loyal Centaur who died defending her very honor; “You may force me to wed,” she cried at the leering and victorious Goblin King, “but you’ll never be half the man he was.”
Plenty more where that came from.
Mick Hartley 
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