There was only one question on the minds of a disappointed English nation last night as it went to bed. What, following Robert Green's ludicrous fumble in the match agauinst the USA, would the front-page headlines be in the morning papers? – and in particular those Sunday tabloid rivals the Sunday Mirror and the News of the World. The lights will have been burning late into the night in Canary Wharf and Wapping as tired shirt-sleeved hacks sweated to come up with the finest, the wittiest, the pithiest put-down.
And the result? The Sunday Mirror went with "Hand of Clod". Yes, I thought: not bad. Raised a smile. And the News of the World? Um, "Hand of Clod".
Well, I suppose, with hindsight, it's the obvious choice after Maradona's "Hand of God" goal in the 1986 World Cup. They always have a keen sense of history, these tabloids.
Call it a 1 – 1 draw.
Mick Hartley 
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